Another Untitled Everything

I miss when you and I could talk about the way we work
The way we think
The way we cry

I fear that everything I'm going through you think is just another something
Another it
To put in a box

I think too often of all the 'used to'
I wish rolling the world off my shoulders didn't require a map
I wish I still felt like you were here
And you weren't his
To mold into what he thinks is courageous and right

I still think you're beautiful
I wish you still made me feel that way
Before you turn off the lights
Do you know I feel like I will never have to say
How much I love you

Because you should just know, Mama.

Sometimes

Sometimes I have thoughts that mean things too
Sometimes I doubt that I cared to begin with
Sometimes I write down a line that sums me up completely
Sometimes I realize I have to revise those lines
Sometimes I get scared that I'm not coming back
Sometimes I listen to myself and scream in agony
Sometimes I look in the mirror and set aside time for constructive criticism
Sometimes I purposely make an ugly face to prove that's not me all the time
Sometimes I cry just to feel
Sometimes I realize how cliche I am
Sometimes I laugh about all the things I regret
Sometimes I am still in love with those regrets
Sometimes I have regrets that are people
Sometimes I do not
Sometimes I feel like my words are swimming through honey
Sometimes I feel like those words have to work their way up through my stomach to my throat
Sometimes I feel inadequate to be me
Sometimes I am just another invasion of body snatchers
Sometimes I wake up and cry and hope tomorrow I feel like me
Sometimes I know I am just a contradiction
Sometimes I hate myself for all of my sometimes
Sometimes I love myself for never having an always